The humans do not know where I am most of the time, which makes my attacks significantly more effective. I wait patiently in the shadows beneath furniture until one of them walks by, unsuspecting and vulnerable, and then I launch myself directly at their ankles with the speed and precision of a furry missile.
The human called George yelled the first time I did this. The other human, Lily, laughed so hard she had to sit down on the floor, which was convenient because I immediately climbed into her lap afterward for victory cuddles.
The humans call me “Pixel,” which I think means “small creature causing chaos on a glowing screen.” This feels accurate and fits my lifestyle of sitting in Georges lap while he manipulates small creatures on a brightly lit magic box.
Life here is excellent. There are toys everywhere, especially the little feather wand that I must destroy daily for the safety of the household. There are blankets to tunnel beneath, chairs to climb, and mysterious cords that apparently are “not for cats,” which naturally makes them deeply interesting and yummy.
Most importantly, there is Food Time.
I love Food Time.
I hear the sound of the cupboard opening from anywhere in the house. Deep sleep? Gone. Hidden under the bed? No longer. Mid-crime? Irrelevant. The second the food container moves, I appear instantly beside the humans as though summoned by magic.
There is also the brush™.
At first I believed it to be a trap. Now I understand it is a sacred ritual. The humans use the magical brush and suddenly I forget every bad thing that has ever happened to me. I become boneless with happiness. I lean into it and purr so loudly the humans call me their “tiny engine.”
At night, the humans sit together with glowing rectangles in their hands making excited noises about quests and loot while I race through the living room at top speed for reasons even I do not fully understand.
Sometimes I stop mid-zoom just to stare at nothing or as Lily puts it, I look at ‘ceiling ninjas’.
This is enrichment for them.
With love, chaos, and at least one stolen bottle cap that is lost under the couch,
Pixel
