Last night, I discovered that the house is much faster when everyone else is asleep.
I don’t know why the humans choose to waste this valuable time lying still with their eyes closed. There are hallways to run through. Rugs to launch across. Furniture to climb incorrectly.
So, at approximately middle-of-the-night o’clock, I began my duties. First, I sprinted from the living room to the bedroom while yelling as loudly as possible. I had no message. I just felt that an announcement should be made.
My new humans sat up and said, “Pixel?” Yes. That is me.
I immediately ran away. Then I came back. Then I ran away again because I saw my own tail and felt there had been a security breach.
George asked if I was okay. I was better than okay. I was extremely fast.
At one point, I jumped onto the couch, launched myself over a pillow, missed my intended landing, and disappeared behind a blanket. This was all part of the plan, although I did forget what the plan was.
I then found a toy mouse and carried it through the house while caterwauling so everyone would know I had defeated a powerful enemy. No one seemed grateful. My female human said it was three in the morning.
I don’t know what that means, but it sounded like a great time to knock something off a table. After several more laps, I climbed onto the bed, walked across the man’s chest, stepped directly on the female’s hair, and settled between them while purring.
They looked exhausted.
I was also exhausted, because being the only one in this house with important nighttime responsibilities is a lot of work.
Anyway, I slept all morning.
The humans did not.
I think they need better sleep schedules.
With excitement and hunter instincts,
Pixel
